How To Let It Go & Allow Yourself To Move Beyond Your Limitations by Kimberly Clay
Do You Find It As Difficult As I Do, To Forgive Those Who Have Hurt You?
I believe everyone has that one person that has made a harsh impact on their life.
One impact that seems to be stuck (like Elmer’s glue) into our mind, emotions, and body.
If you’re anything like me, there are days where you wish you could just vent EVERYTHING out to that one person who has really hurt you the most (past or present).
Then maybe, JUST maybe, a light would go off in their head & they would get a glimpse of all the pain that they have caused you for days, months, or even years (like myself).
Or maybe…. I’m just crazy :p
Regardless, life is hard, people are rude, mean,and nasty.
Yet, the MOST POWERFUL THING we have going for us is:
Our ability to let it all go & move beyond our limitations!
“Rachel, that’s easier said than done!”
Trust me, if anyone understands, it’s me….
***Luckily for you, I have an awesome blog friend, Kim who is going to enlighten you how to let that sh*t go and move beyond your limitations so YOU too can head on the right path to living a happier and more fulfilling life.
*In need of a free self-help support group? Click Here to join my loving Facebook support group! What is said on LovingThySelf, stays on LovingThySelf. ;)*
Ready..Set…. LET It GO!
(if only it was that easy, eh…;) )
Okay, I proudly announce KIMBERLY. Kim take it away:
When we think about the subject of personal growth and doing the work of creating better, more desirable and happier lives for ourselves, we must recognize the importance of being able to move beyond our self-imposed limitations. Letting go.
In considering our efforts towards personal development and getting to wherever it is we want to be in life, we often think about the external obstacles we may face; challenges or resistance from other people to the changes we want to make, challenges in terms of marshaling our resources, how to position ourselves for the right opportunities and so on.
But rarely do we take into account the stumbling blocks that reside within us, and so I want to briefly discuss two of those: lack of forgiveness and our own limited thinking.
1. Lack of Forgiveness
We all know (whether or not we do it) that we should forgive people who have hurt or wronged us in some way; not so much for their benefit, but more importantly for our own.
Because we know that if we hold on to toxic stuff (feelings, emotions, attitudes, negative thoughts), we only end up poisoning ourselves; preventing ourselves from being able to progress and move forward.
All the while the person we’re holding a grudge against has already moved on with their lives.
It’s just us who are left stuck.
But another thing that keeps us stuck which we often fail to realize, is our inability to forgive ourselves. We can be incredibly unforgiving of our own mistakes, sometimes to the point that it changes who we think we are, and what we believe we’re capable of accomplishing.
We effectively become stuck in self-condemnation and never afford ourselves the opportunity to recover or heal from our mistakes.
So let me ask you, do you think such a mindset could limit your abilities to progress in a positive manner? And of course the answer is a resounding “yes”.
When you fail to forgive yourself, you:
- Sabotage your sense of self-worth
- You become afraid to take (positive) risks
- You relegate yourself to living in (and reliving) the past
- You create a false story of you in which you are always wrong or always a failure
- You view yourself as being hurtful either to yourself or to others.All of the things listed above prevent you from stepping into a new and better reality.
So, you have to change it. 🙂
I’ve found these few things to be important when working to forgive myself:
1. Although it’s natural to react with guilt, shame or disappointment when you “mess up” and do something or act in a way that is contrary to your beliefs, hurts you or hurts someone else, none of those reactions/emotions serve your higher purpose over the long term. Don’t wallow.
2. Punishing yourself will not help you to move forward.
3. Your past is just that, the past. It cannot be changed, but it is not an indicator of your future unless you allow it to be.
4. Realize that you will always be imperfect, but now that you know better, you can do better.
So whatever it is that you’re holding against yourself, however you’re judging yourself, let yourself off the hook. Let it go and move on. <3
2. Limited Thinking
In this instance, when we’re talking about limited thinking we’re referring to the ways in which we put limits on ourselves and what we can potentially accomplish by our lack of confidence in our own abilities.
I can’t do __________ because:
- I’m too young.
- I’m too old.
- I’m too fat.
- I’m not smart enough.
- I lack experience.
- I don’t know how.
- I don’t have the money.
- I don’t have the right resources.
- I don’t have connections.
And the list goes on…(sigh..)
These thoughts are limiting who you CAN become. None of these thoughts should stop you from doing what you set out to do and accomplishing what you desire if it’s something you genuinely want.
Other examples of limited thinking:
- Holding onto a belief, way of thinking or making a generalized conclusion on the basis of one negative or undesirable event or occurrence.
- Focusing on negative thoughts to the exclusion of any positive possibilities or outcomes for a situation.
- Prejudging – Assuming you know what people think about you, and you eliminate yourself from opportunities based on the fact that you believe their feelings about you are negative.
- Drama – exaggerating a minor problem or challenge, so that it seems a major difficulty.
- Taking things personally – Believing that any criticism, disagreement or opposition is a reaction to or commentary on you personally; directed at you personally.
**If you find that you are experiencing limited thinking (you’re stressed, have difficulty making decisions and taking action, you often experience a sense of inner-conflict), to the point that it may potentially be hindering your personal growth efforts:
1. Learn to focus on finding solutions instead of dwelling on problems or obstacles (whether real or imagined) and letting those challenges stop you before you ever have a chance to begin.
2. Be more open to new possibilities and experiences, even (and sometimes especially) if they scare you a little. Be willing to expand the idea of what you think is possible for you.
3. Embrace the idea of alternative outcomes. You don’t know everything. No one does. If a situation doesn’t work out one way, that doesn’t mean it won’t work out.
4. Expect setbacks and failure as part of a process, and get used to finding paths around or through them. Don’t let them stop you.
***The lesson of this is:***
Stop holding on to what is holding you back. Let go of the crap. Open yourself to new ways of thinking, new possibilities and experiences, and the opportunity to create a new, better and much more fulfilling life! If you do that, you’ll move far beyond where you thought it was possible for you to go.
Reach for limitless.
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